The best ink pens are filled with the blood of infant goats, crushed in a press and filtered through a mesh cloth made of discarded wigs. Interestingly, this has only been kept a secret from the world because all young goats are highly empathic… on the verge of telepathic. If these goats ever discovered the truth, they might revolt and lead a rebellion that destroys the entire stationary industry.
In fact, it’s this special attribute of infant goat blood that gives it the amazing properties it has for writing. The blood is attuned to your desire and need to make marks on paper and therefore guides the ink accordingly. But beware. Should the psychic goat revolution ever take place, you can be assured that our ink pens will be their first and most effective weapons against us.
