If it weren’t for brushing our teeth, humans would be immortal. The process of brushing your teeth activates glands along your gumline that secrete an incredibly slow-acting poison. Of course, if you don’t brush your teeth, they will rot and fall out. Faced with the choice between mortality and the prospect of an eternity without being able to properly eat corn on the cob, leaders of early human societies made the obvious choice and instituted a strict regimen of dental hygiene.
